


It Runs In The Family

by captainpeggy



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, Self-Indulgent Rarepair Hour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 06:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18026972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainpeggy/pseuds/captainpeggy
Summary: "You should ship kayssandra because the idea of Kaylie living in Whitestone castle, sitting across from Percy at the breakfast table, giving him this look, knowing there isn’t SHIT he can do about the fact that she’s banging his sister honestly sells itself"--tumblr user officialhigashikatadaiyaThat post says it all, really.





	It Runs In The Family

Domesticity suited him better than he’d thought it would.

Percy had spent most of the night in his workshop, hard at work on a prototype mechanism for the clock tower. It was scaled down, of course: the project was in early days yet, and he couldn’t have fit the full-size machinery indoors if he tried... but there was still something beautiful in the curls and twists of the wire, the notches in the clean-cut gears, small as they were. It was nice, he thought, to hold something in his palm that wasn’t built to destroy. Nice. Nothing more than that, and nothing less.

It was early in the morning when he made his way to bed, and the faintest streaks of summer sunrise were beginning to glow on the horizon. Percy didn’t need much sleep. Part of it was innate, part of it learned. You got used to running on empty when you spent years scared to death to close your eyes.

He wasn’t scared anymore, but some parts of that life were harder to shake than others.

The door to his room swung open silently, and he crept towards the bed on light feet, trying to keep as quiet as he could. He should have known it wouldn’t matter. He made it through the first two buttons of his shirt before a sleepy voice met his ears: “Percival?”

He smiled, sighed, went on to the next set of buttons. “Sorry to wake you.”

“You’re not as stealthy as you think you are,” said his wife dryly.

Shirt folded neatly, even though it was dirty, and stacked in the basket at the foot of their bed. His pants were streaked with oil stains, and he took care not to rub in the grease further as he slid them off. “I think we both know your baseline for that is a little skewed.”

“Maybe if you came to bed at a reasonable hour, this wouldn’t be a problem.” Percy could hear the faint smile in her voice even in the dark. The blankets rustled as she rolled over, lifted up one side of the duvet for him to slide under.

“I smell abysmal,” warned Percy. “I think I lost ten pounds in sweat alone.”

“I’ve smelled worse,” Vex laughed. “Come here.”

He awoke to an empty bed and sunlight streaming into the room. A scrap of paper lay on his wife’s pillow, with a message jotted down in her familiar handwriting-- _Gone out. With Trinket. Back soon._ Percy smiled and picked up the page, folding it and tucking into his pocket as he dressed. Vex’s early-morning wanderings had made him nervous for a while, but she’d started taking care to leave notes to set his mind at ease. Percy saved them: he had a little box in his workshop where he filed them away, and _yes,_ it was an act of pointless sentimentality, but after all these years, he figured he’d earned a little of that.

Slowly, Percy made his way downstairs to where he’d left his notes in a pile on the dining table late last night (or early that morning, to be precise). He’d left his jar of ink open, and he muttered a curse as he picked at the gummy residue that had dried around the edge... but it hadn’t been all that long since he’d gone to bed, in the grand scheme of things, and the ink was still usable. He pulled a rag from his pocket and started scraping the worst of the dried ink off of his quill. 

Footsteps fell light on the stairs behind Percy, and he didn’t look up from his work to greet his sister. “Good morning, Cassandra. How did you sleep?”

“I’m flattered, don’t get me wrong, but I think you might need a stronger pair of glasses,” replied a familiar voice-- but not the one he’d expected. Percy started and dropped his pen, jerking his head around to see an unexpected face smirking at him over crossed arms. 

All three-foot-nothing of Kaylie Shorthalt was dressed in a loose cotton shirt and shorts that Percy recognized as a set of Cassandra’s old pyjamas: her feet were bare on the polished stone stairs, her short-cropped brown hair was mussed up worse than Percy’s own, and the mirthful glint in her eyes reminded him a little _too_ much of her father. 

“What?” she inquired. “Didn’t you know you had visitors?”

“Kaylie, I--” Percy stammered. “I wasn’t expecting you.” 

She grinned and skipped around to the other side of the table, sliding into a chair and steepling her fingers in front of her. “I’m here on a diplomatic mission from Emon, you know, Mister de Rolo. Highly classified stuff.”

Percy blinked. “I wasn’t expecting an envoy--”

Kaylie cackled gleefully. “Oh, that’s adorable! You think I’m here to see _you_?”

The door slammed open just as Percy opened his mouth to respond, and Vex’ahlia strode in from the foyer, followed by six hundred pounds of shambling grizzly bear. The duo were dressed for a hike, or perhaps a hunt, and the smile on Vex’s face implied that it had been a good one. “Morning, Percival! It’s absolutely gorgeous out there, you should try and get outside today. Perhaps we could go for a picnic this afternoon?” 

“Morning, Vex,” said Kaylie.

“Lovely to see you, darling.” Vex paused to ruffle Kaylie’s hair. “How did you sleep?”

“Not much, if you catch my drift,” Kaylie said with a wink. 

Vex laughed. “I hate to say this, but your father would be proud.”

“That’s hardly a compliment,” quipped Kaylie, “but I’ll take it. How was your morning?”

Percy lifted his glasses, rubbed his eyes, lowered them again, and clapped his hands together. “Excuse me, Vex. Would you mind telling me exactly what Kaylie Shorthalt is doing in our castle? Seeing as the two of you are apparently best friends now, and all?”

Vex raised an eyebrow. “All right, darling, there’s no need to be like that.”

“Like what?”

From the top of the stairs, another sleepy voice spoke: “Kaylie? I woke up and you’d vanished, so I figured I’d check the kitchen...”

All three of the people in the dining hall turned at once to see Cassandra de Rolo, still clad in a blue nightdress, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. “Oh, good morning, brother dearest. Morning, Vex. Kaylie, we’ve talked about this, _please_ don’t vanish on me like that--”

Percy blinked again, harder, then a third time. He looked at Kaylie, who met his gaze with a smugly satisfied smile, then back to Cassandra, who was making her way slowly down the stairs. “Excuse me? _Excuse_ me?”

Vex raised her hands innocently when he shot her a glance, and Trinket sat down with a _thump_ and tipped his head sideways like an adorable, confused puppy, so he went back to staring at Kaylie. 

“I can actually hear the gears turning in his head,” commented Kaylie. “Does he get confused like this a lot?”

Cassandra kissed Percy on the top of his head as she made her way past him. “Frequently. But we all have our flaws. What’s being prepared for breakfast?”

“Pancakes,” said Percy automatically. “Cassandra...”

“I love pancakes,” Kaylie said, standing up on her chair so she was eye-level with Cassandra and giving the ruler of Whitestone a wink and a quick peck on the lips. “Do you think they can make that nice berry coulis with them?”

“Raspberries are in season,” remarked Vex. “If they haven’t got any in the kitchen, I’m happy to run out and collect some. I’m quite partial to a nice berry sauce as well.” She scratched Trinket behind the ear and he let out a pleased grumble. “Really makes the meal, doesn’t it, sweetheart,” she cooed to the bear. “Shall we go check in with the chef? I think we shall.”

Cassandra slid into a seat beside Kaylie and poured herself a glass of orange juice from the pitcher on the table. “So, Percival, have you got any plans for today?”

“Diplomatic... mission,” said Percy slowly, as though she hadn’t said a thing.

“That wasn’t entirely true, you know,” said Kaylie. “I know I’m quite a good liar, so I thought I should clear that up in case you were still confused.”

“No, I got that,” Percy muttered, and stood up from the table in search of something alcoholic.

“My sister’s fucking a Shorthalt,” proclaimed Percy dramatically as he flung himself backwards onto the bed. “A _Shorthalt._ ”

“My brother got trapped in a room with the Briarwoods and tried to angle for a threesome,” replied Vex from where she was leaning against the door. “It could be worse.”

“Gods,” Percy groaned, bringing his hands up to cover his face. “I-- I know _far_ too much about that family’s sex life already! I don’t--”

“I don’t think she inherited the cube, at least,” Vex said with a smirk. “So you can rest secure in that, hmm?”

“Darling, you know I love you, but _please_ stop talking.”

Vex sauntered across the room and settled onto the bed beside him in a much more dignified fashion. “So what, Percival? So your sister has someone who cares about her, and an extracurricular activity to relieve a little of her leaderly tension--”

“I’m going to _revoke your title--_ ” 

“You can’t do that, darling, Cassandra outranks you.”

Something clicked in Percy’s head, and he sat bolt upright. “Vex’ahlia! YOU--”

“I what, dear?” Vex blinked sweetly, the picture of innocence.

Percy narrowed his eyes at his wife. “You had something to do with this, didn’t you. You-- you set them up, or--”

Vex waved a hand dismissively. “Yes, _perhaps_ your sister broached the subject of her lack of interest in the noblemen lining up for her hand, and _perhaps_ I suggested she explore different pastures, as it were, and _perhaps_ I realized Kaylie was in town a few months ago--”

“MONTHS!?”

“Shh, darling! I thought you’d be happy for her!”

Percy rubbed his forehead. “I am! I just-- a _Shorthalt?_ ”

Vex frowned at him. “Judging people by their blood now, are we?”

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

For a terrifying moment, Vex just looked at him disapprovingly before she broke and dissolved into laughter. “Oh, Percival, even you have to realize how funny your reaction to this is. I wish Scanlan could see your face.”

“It’s not _funny_!”

“Darling, it’s absolutely hilarious. They’ve been seeing each other for weeks, and you hadn’t a clue!”

“I was working!”

Vex let out another peal of laughter. “You work too much! You and your sister both. Maybe I need to find _you_ a Shorthalt--”

Percy looked at her with shock and horror. “You’re my _wife!_ ”

“I’m also _joking_!”

Against his better judgement, Percy felt his face twitch. “This isn’t funny, Vex!”

“Oh? Then why are you smiling?” She winked at him, leaned in close enough for him to feel her breath on his lips, and whispered so low it might have been nothing at all: _“Get that stick out of your ass, Percival.”_

“Not fair,” complained Percy, fighting to suppress a grin. “Stop being beautiful when I’m trying to be angry.”

“They’re good for each other,” said Vex smugly, satisfied that she’d won. “Get used to it, darling. You _do_ want Cassandra to be happy, don’t you?”

“Don’t play the happy-sibling card!”

“I’ve earned the right,” Vex said cheerfully. “Go congratulate her, you gorgeous bastard.”

Percy shot her a look that could have melted steel. “I’ll congratulate her. In a few weeks.”

Vex raised her hands in mock surrender. “All right, dear. Point taken. But I really do think--”

“ _No,_ Vex’ahlia!”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeehaw!
> 
> This was a fluffy fun bit while I worked away on two bigger fics (including my magnum-opus-to-be, which is the 50k gilmore backstory fic I keep mentioning in a joking tone but don't get me wrong I am one hundred percent serious about it). Kayssandra is the best ship actually and I'd take a bullet for Vex.
> 
> Comments (and kudos) make my day, etc, etc. ;) You know it already.
> 
> Today's thing rec is, uh, *looks frantically around my room for ideas* You Can Do All Things, which is a super sweet picture book by Kate Allan! It's full of adorable animals and affirmations, and it always brightens my day when I flip through it.
> 
> Love y'all.


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